My Disillusioned Self

Its been a Wild While

Wow! It has been a while since I posted. What can I say I’ve just been lazy… Well let me try to sum everything up because it has been a little crazy…

I was deregistered from my classes and I did a whole bunch of craziness to get it back. I had a shitload of shots and felt like I was dying last week (I had a fever like woah and was shivering and couldn’t walk or pick anything up). I told Erin that I liked her and got a response that I completely didn’t understand (I dunno I’m just crazy for her). My ex-girlfriend keeps in touch with me and it seems like she wants to get back together (I don’t want to). I’ve turned into a major geek and I’m unsure if I can accept that. I have an anger problem that I thought was behind me that is slowly coming back. People don’t call me anymore on the weekends because I stopped doing favors for people who have never done any for me. I missed 3 days of Electrical Circuits class because I just couldn’t get out of bed because I was sick. I’ve been having really fucked up dreams that I don’t know what they mean and I just want to know why I’m having them. I just can’t seem to relate to people and it’s driving me nuts. How can I relate to anyone if they can’t relate to me. I want to go hunting for a girlfriend but I don’t know if I want to deal with all the shit that goes along with it. I’m hanging out with Erin like woah and I think I’m probably going to stop doing it for a while. Don’t get me wrong I love spending time with her and personally I don’t know anything else I’d rather be doing… so what’s the problem? Well that’s a complicated subject on its own and its a mixture of liking her more than a friend but not wanting it to be more than that. She’s completely not my type!!!! Which I find completely funny because my type is actually her complete opposite. But I feel like I can relate to her and I dunno like I said she is fun to be around.