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Some Introspection

May 29th, 2006 Posted in Archive

When did I become such a coward? I mean, it just kind of snuck up on me out of nowhere. I was at the bar the other night with my cousin Billy and his soon to be Son in Law Vinny, drinking pitcher after pitcher of Yueng Ling, when I see this beautiful girl. Now, I was sufficiently hammered at the time and by no means at all should have even had the idea of trying to pick someone up in my condition. But, that unfortunately is not the point. The point is, even while drunk, I didn’t have the balls to approach her. What is wrong with me?

The situation could not have been better. All her friends were dancing on the dance floor with some guys and she was sitting ALONE watching them with that look in her eyes that she wanted to be there also. How much better could that have been you ask? Well, she caught me looking, smiled at me and I still didn’t approach her! You know what I did instead? I downed two more pints of Yueng Ling and didn’t look that way for the rest of the night.

I find my social anxiety funny. Not funny ha-ha but, funny cry me a river type of funny. It never used to be so bad and I used to be able to force myself to cope with it and after a few minutes I would be fine. As I’m getting older though, it seems to paralyze me at social situations. I mean, how am I ever supposed to meet anyone new if this just keeps getting worse? Should I seek help? Am I broken? Is this normal? I don’t know the answers to any of the questions in my head. All I do know is that something in me has to change because, the way I am now is completely unacceptable.

  1. 6 Responses to “Some Introspection”

  2. By LisaVilask on Jan 21, 2007

    Hey I must say - very well done. really
    Lisa

  3. By amy Nelson on Sep 7, 2007

    I love all your journal entries it’s all the things i think but cant say. Very well done. I loved FEAR!! Have a good one!!

  4. By Stasigragov on Sep 28, 2007

    Hello, nice site keep up good job!!!

  5. By Stasigrag on Sep 30, 2007

    Hi nice site i licke him ty.

  6. By Wahoo on Oct 6, 2007

    Thank you for sharing!

  7. By Harmony on Aug 1, 2008

    I think everyone has social anxiety,just Everyone is at a different level. I used to be so fearless, couldn’t even be bothered to care, now I’m timid and shy. Someone always has to approach me and even then, the person has to really want to know me, be persistent (although its annoying when I don’t want to know them, hahaa). Maybe its cause I used to try to talk to people, and it never went very well. I don’t know, maybe there was something on my face, or I have a strange sense of humor. I’m sorry, I wanted to write something profound and help, but as I just woke up and have had barely any sleep, I am absolutely no help. Also, it bothered me that no one left a comment about your post itself. Just ‘keep up the good work!’ Now, I do think that too, but … I just wanted to say something about the actual post I’m commenting on. Ok! I hope I stumble back onto your site sometime. I’ll try to remember. but seeing as how you haven’t written since Jan… I probably wont miss anything!

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