My Disillusioned Self

Expectations of Reality

I last left you with the question of “What do I want?” What do we all want? We strive for the perfections of the expectations of reality. The problem that makes the answer so hard is that our expectations of reality never match what reality is. We constantly chase the dragon of perfection, trying to relive the high of our first misled and naive fantasy of reality. We remove the fun of the unexpected and hype it up to a point, that even if you do receive what you think you want, you no longer enjoy what you have strived for. It’s our poisoning of the beauty of simplicity. We have lost the ability to live in the moment, feel what we are feeling and listen to our instincts. The constant thinking of things that have no relevance to the enjoyment of the moment. The “what if’s ” and “should I’s” of the world have brought us to a point of losing our humanity. What I am trying to say is spontaneity is what I want. It is what we all want. We want affection that is not expected, long drives for no reason,meeting people we don’t know, long conversations with people we do know and getting to know them better by doing the unexpected and unplanned.

The ability to experience is shaded by our lies. What we want is honesty. Yet, we program ourselves to be dishonest and cover it up by calling it a “little white lie”. Shrouded in the indecency of the white lie is the human connection of acceptance and respect of others opinions. Raw emotions then become unexpected because they are constantly filtered by our irrationality to not accept what really is.

Love is a perfect example of the shroud of indecency stripping us of what it is to enjoy the experience. We want love but we can not accept what the concept means. We think that love requires more than a strong friendship with honesty, trust and mutual respect. What we fail to realize is that nothing else is required of love and anything that does not include these things is a lie.

I think that is enough to think about for this post. Some more next time!