http://www.disillusionedself.com Just another WordPress weblog Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:30:06 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Today, Day #1 of abstaining from everything. I'm actually pretty suprised how simple it has been to not eat anything. I do have one prediction though, I'm going to be awfully bored of just water at the end of all this. As for hunger pangs? Not much ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2008/09/29/day-1-abstination/ I have decided to fast and abstain from my daily wants.  I feel that I have reached the point of overindulgence in life and that a lot can be learned from abstaining from the overindulgences. I wish I could tell you what made me feel this way. Unfortunately, any attempt to ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2008/09/28/willingful-torture-or-spiritual-enlightenment/ FOCUS...... That's what life is about. F.O.C.U.S. Fighting opposition by capturing the understanding of strength. I am me. Want to come for a wild ride? You're more then welcome if you think you can keep up. Only thing I ask is that you bring something more to the table than ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2008/01/13/98/ I'm sick of searching for the point. I'm sick of trying to find meaning in nothing. I'm sick of fake friendships and lack of affection. I'm sick of trying to fit in when there is no place. I'm sick of striving for the top but, not having the ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2008/01/11/end-it/ If you don't want me at my worst, don't expect me at my best.  I'll just laugh and smile and act like the rest. http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/12/26/just-a-thought/ What happened to all the nice guys? The answer is simple: you did. See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/12/22/what-happened-to-all-the-nice-guys/ I last left you with the question of "What do I want?" What do we all want? We strive for the perfections of the expectations of reality. The problem that makes the answer so hard is that our expectations of reality never match what reality is. ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/12/21/expectations-of-reality/ I was asked an interesting question the other day. It intrigued me so much so that I have to share it.  It all started with me and drunken text messages. Wait. Before I go any further, let me tell everyone if they don't know already, DRUNKENNESS AND TEXT MESSAGES DO ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/12/16/so-what/ It's amazing the remnants of yesterday that appear in my head. Random images and feelings that have passed; Ideas barely remembered and lost in the darkness of time; Random images and experiences which will never be relived; Hopes devoured by desperation. Where does it go when nothing is left? ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/12/10/yesterday/ The Men that Don't Fit In by: Robert W. Service There's A race of men that don't fit in, A race that can't stay still; So they break the hearts of kith and kin, And they roam the world at will. They range the field and they rove the flood, And they climb the mountain's crest; Theirs is ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/12/09/the-men-that-dont-fit-in/ Where has life gone since December 2006(the date of my last post)? I mean, hell like all things in life it seems to have come out of nowhere. I left you all last time with my grandmother sick and dying in the hospital. Well, she's gone hopefully to a ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/09/08/where-life-has-gone/ "im highly upset that you would leave us at bay for such a long and drawn out period of time. i know whats going on in your life so i need not such “catching up” but for those of them who do not know you on a personal basis, i ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/09/08/response-to-a-comment/ All I can say is Wow! Its been a long time since I've written in this blog. I know, I know, I've said before I would never stop writing in it for such a long period again. Well, I lied. And, as previously promised, I'll make ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2007/09/07/wowwowwowwowwow/ I was at the train station on Friday waiting to come home from a long day of work. Of course the bus was late and made me miss the train. So, where does that leave me? It leaves me waiting for the next train that comes in ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2006/12/16/fear/ Not to get all melodramatic or anything but, really, what is the point to life? I mean each day we go through the same routine and in the end what do we really accomplish? I personally know that every day I leave the house at 8:30 so I ... http://www.disillusionedself.com/2006/09/25/the-purpose/